MONOGAMY = MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Yesterday, I was walking home after I had gone to do some laundry. It is just across the bridge from where I stay. Crossing a roadside bridge to the other part of campus was routine for me up until yesterday. I have naturally had a fear for heights, but you know when you have done something countless times, it becomes a pattern, I guess. I never have to worry about my fears again. Well, it wasn’t this way for me yesterday because I climbed and my mind went in a thousand directions after just one step on the bridge.
I know you are were not expecting me to talk about me and a bridge but be patient and see where this analogy takes us. The word risk kept pondering on my head Risk, risks, risks. What does it mean to take risks?
What can you define as taking a risk? For me, Sky diving is something I see as risky. I have always been fascinated with sky diving. I will eventually do it one day.
I see the thrill it gives, the surge, the adrenaline it gives ….my skin tingling at the sight of someone jumping out of a small plane in the middle of the sky, nowhere. I know you are wondering how is this possible? I am afraid of heights, yes? It is puzzling how someone can have a fear of heights and yet still love sky diving. Yea, this brings me to my 2nd fear. Just be patient.
Mutually exclusive relationships. one person, one individual, one lover , Monogamy.
One true love, one spouse. One. The singularity of one. I have a love for Mutually exclusive relationships (Monogamy) because it was in the Cinderella of my little days(ahh the nostalgia), the sleeping beauty of Disney, hell I even watched maleficent just 2 months ago for a class I took in summer! (My teacher was awesome by the way). Prince charming and the damsel in distress stereotype is everywhere. 1 man and 1 woman.
Mutually exclusive relationships is everywhere, in the movies, the songs, and even the stories we are told. For the last two years, I have been thinking in-depth about it and asking this question, as a Species is it enough to be with one person? Is it all? I could go on and spout all the biological nonsense and get you bored, hell I am no expert so I won’t do that anyway. I will only share my perspective. I have a fear for Mutually exclusive relationships because it only has one direction, it sees black and white. Either you are together or you are not. Either you are dating or you are not. Either he/she/they drive you to take risks or they provide comfort. It cant be either. It is not like skydiving. Providing you with risks and security at the same time.
Emotions largely determine how a person responds in a relationship, from laughter to friendship and then to fall in love, to fights e.t.c All this has one word written all over it “emotion” The most undependable factor in the world. Mutually exclusive relationships is built on this undependable factor.
Back to heights for a second
I hate heights but I want to go sky diving. Makes no sense at all. Heights is a risk, I can fall on my head, drop dead, sky diving hell it is 3 times riskier than walking on a bridge. I have nothing to do falling out of the sky, I will be all on my own with a parachute and prayers but still why do I have no fear for this? One moment I can be shouting at the top of my lungs and the other moment I will be scared to my wits. This can all happen in the space of a second. It is because of this simple fact before I go sky diving, I will be prepared, there will be instructors with real-life experience who have done it, safety precautions, a parachute, and maybe a glide assistant. You see, all these things just lessened the risks, all these things are security, Security in the risks. Is that even logical?! Well, this is the reverse of how I see Mutually exclusive relationships.
It is a two-way street, either it is risky or there is security. In Mutually exclusive relationships there are no coaches, forget about those guys on Instagram. Everyone’s experience is different. Mutually exclusive relationships desires stability, there is no room for any other thing. It all goes one way, one road.
I am talking about the comfort of it all vs the thrill of it all. Do you think you can have it all?
You cannot find security in risk (Sky diving excluded) because security is to remove risks. You are trusting one person to spark, fulfill desires and still keep you safe. This is why wealthy people have bodyguards even though they have a boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband. To keep he/she/they safe while they focus on loving you. Now, this creates a longing because either there is security with an absence of risks that begins to cause and itch or there is a constant risk (In Nigeria we call it fear of receiving Breakfast, DO YOU GET IT!) and a constant itch for stability. This is where a problem arises. We have been constantly fed with the idea that it can be possible to be a doctor, soldier, and astronaut all at once, that this is possible. We have constantly been showing complexities in life but with relationships, we failed to factor in our complexities when making morals that govern relationships? Mutually exclusive relationships over polygamy, Closed marriage over open marriages. We did not stop and think that complexities may affect our interpersonal relationship, We have shown to be very complex individuals, taking more than one route to reach whatever end we desire, and still the one thing every human would cultivate we decided to put a straight and narrow road to it….
Risk and security cannot exist equally in a continuously emotionally driven environment so one is chosen over the other depending on your level of sanity which could change at any given time ……. Anyway to be continued at a late time.
